real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
