can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize
