Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Randomize
