I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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