I want to stick my p in your. b.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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