I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
