never play flip cup with pint glasses
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
