he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
