its not stalking. its research.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
