my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I touched a dick in church today
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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