Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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