No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
