tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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