She just used a chaser for red wine.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
