So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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