We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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