We named our party play list daddy issues
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
