At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
