You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
