Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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