playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
