what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
