you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
