I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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