He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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