Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
are you so shy because you have an std?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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