i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
