Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I need a beard to bite.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
