I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
