talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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