You're my little dorito
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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