I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
