TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
babies were throwing up all over the place
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm at about main and main street
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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