Your mouth is God's brothel.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Randomize
