Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
