Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I wish i was in the wii world.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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