i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
