Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
