Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
