He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
