the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
