I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
