With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
