If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
