that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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