he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
