Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
