apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
