STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
