Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
