i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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